What is truly important

"...money is not the prime commodity in our lives... Time is."

"Gordon Gekko" (Michael Douglas) on Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

True Measure of a Man

This picture was taken at the Yerba Buena gardens in San Francisco

Saying by Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 - 1968)

Dealing with Hurtful Relatives

This weekend was supposed to be all fun because a close aunt came to visit me from out of town. But because of a very hurtful relative, some of the fun got tainted. The worst thing about it is, that relative acts like its nothing and continues with her rude behavior. She acts like I'm invisible and always has an excuse when an invitation is extended. I have tried so so so many times to turn a blind eye out of respect, and, in memory of her mom who was so kind to me and was one of my favorite aunts, however, I think respect has to be earned by the person herself. This weekend was the final straw. I could not stand her bad behavior and rudeness towards me anymore, so finally I told her what I thought of her. People really close to me tell me to just move on, but before I can move on, I have to heal from the months, years of hurt that this relative has inflicted on me. Those people who tell me "just move on" are not here everyday to see my hurt, to see the stress, the pain that this has caused, and only hear it when I tell them what happens. I fell they do not understand, just want this "awkward situation" to be over with. I no longer feel any guilt in standing up for myself and really telling her off. There is one person in this ordeal that I feel very fortunate to have. I am very lucky that hubby is very supportive and is the only one who doesn't try to dismiss how I feel by telling me to "move on". He is here for me when I tremble with stress, he is here when I cry and he knows I will move on in time, but now all I need is someone to talk me through all this hurt and deal with it. He is not rushing me into "unfeeling" what I am feeling and respectfully lets me go through this stage. Thank you my wonderful hubby!

Here is an article I found which somehow deals with this kind of situation. See below.

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Dealing with Hurtful Relatives by Karen R Koenig
For Complete Original Article, click here
One of the great stresses of the holiday season is dealing with relatives who are hurtful, difficult or, perhaps, even emotionally abusive. Maybe you rarely see them and try to be nice when you do or are stuck with them all year long. There is no easy answer for how to deal with these kinds of family members, but you do have options. None will feel just right, but often you have to choose the best of the lot and live with the consequences.

Newspaper advice columns often tell readers to ignore the bad things troublesome relatives do or say and look for the good in them. This is a viable option with a relative who is basically a decent person and only mildly annoying. You can usually tell if a remark is made with a benign or loving intent. Maybe your well-meaning, sweet aunt always asks when you’re going to lose weight or your generally loving and supportive father puts an extra helping of potatoes on your plate, insisting that you put some meat on your bones. Your options in these instances are to ignore what is said or done or respond in a kind way that expresses how you feel.

The last group of family members are people who are nasty, manipulative, cutting, and have only their own interest at heart. Selfish, self-centered, abusive, and intentionally provocative, no amount of reasoning or confrontation will change them and, unless you have to be around them (even if they are your parents, siblings, or other close relatives), you are better off avoiding them. I don’t agree that emotionally detaching from abusive people is enough. You might not react to what they say, but their abusiveness still registers, lingers in your heart, and is unhealthy to be around. In this case, you may need to cut them out of your life which is painful work and not generally accepted by society.