Should You Pay Off the House?

by Lisa Gibbs, Money Magazine
Saturday, February 26, 2011
original article here

The issue is that most people only keep their home for 7 years and of course the banks know this. That’s why they will charge all of your interest up front in the first few years. So image in the case of a $200,000 thirty year mortgage that you’ve been paying off for the last 20 years, up to this point you will still owe approx $108,000.

So the question is how do we pay off our mortgage early then ?

One of the most common ways is to increase your monthly payments. For example, If you had a $ 1,200 monthly mortgage payment and that was at a 30 year fixed , if you could possibly add another $100.00 a month to your payments ,

When there was easy money to be made in real estate and stocks, mortgage debt seemed like nothing to fear. Now an increasing number of homeowners are wondering if it makes sense to hasten the day they can say goodbye to a big monthly expense while earning the equivalent of a decent, guaranteed return.

"I'm hearing this question more now that clients aren't feeling as comfortable about the market," says Los Angeles area financial planner Eileen Freiburger.

Maybe you're part of a young family, and whittling down your loan balance seems like a sound strategy. Or maybe you're counting down to retirement (perhaps even already kicking back), have only a few years of payments left, and are wondering if you should just knock off the balance.

But if you're thinking of such a move, you're also well aware that mortgage interest is tax-deductible -- and if history is any guide, putting money into stocks will earn you a higher return over the long haul than putting it into real estate.

The answers to the questions below can help you determine your best course of action.

Do you have more pressing financial needs?

Anyone who has credit card debt or isn't maxing out her 401(k) should make those the priority. You should also have at least six months' worth of living expenses in cash.

A few years ago you would have been able to pull money out of your home quickly if, say, you lost your job. Now that lenders have tightened up, that's not so easy.

Retirees and near-retirees contemplating a lump-sum payoff need to ensure they have enough liquid savings to handle emergencies such as unexpected medical expenses, especially because it's hard to tap equity on homes without first mortgages.

And you shouldn't pull money out of your IRA to pay off your home loan, since the IRA funds will be taxed at ordinary income rates.

How long do you plan to stay?

If you plan to trade up to a larger home or downsize to a smaller one within five years, it doesn't make sense to put extra money into your mortgage. The real estate market may be shaky for a while longer, and "you don't want to tie up your cash in your home and then not be able to sell," says La Jolla, Calif., financial planner Christopher Van Slyke.

What do you really gain from the interest tax deduction?

Assuming you itemize your deductions, you can find out what you save by multiplying the mortgage interest you paid last year by your tax rate (federal plus state). A couple in the 28% tax bracket, with a $200,000 loan at 5%, for example, will save $2,781 in taxes the first year of a loan.

Your tax savings decline the further you get into the loan, as more money is applied toward principal.

For many retirees and near-retirees close to the end of the mortgage, the interest deduction is not a reason to avoid paying off the loan, especially since retirees often end up in a lower tax bracket, says planner Peter Canniff of Nashua, N.H.

How would you otherwise invest the money?

Put your money into stocks and bonds and you're likely to get a higher return over the long run than you would paying off your home loan, given today's low rates.

If you itemize, you can calculate your effective return by multiplying your mortgage rate and your tax rate, then subtracting the answer from your mortgage rate (you can do this with the mortgage tax-deduction calculator at bankrate.com/calculators.aspx).

So for someone in the 28% tax bracket with a 5% mortgage, the effective rate of return on paying off the mortgage is 3.6%. By comparison, a 50/50 stock/bond portfolio has historically earned 8.2% long term, though it's sensible to expect future returns to be a more modest 6%.

Still, if you're very skittish about the market or are a retiree keeping a big chunk of money in low-earning CDs, you might do better by losing the loan, given that the average five-year CD is paying just 1.6%.

"For retirees, it's hard to beat the guaranteed return," says Anthony Webb, an economist at Boston College's Center for Retirement Research.

Will being debt-free help you sleep better?

In that case, you might be willing to forgo the extra return you could earn in the market. "Less stress, less worry," says Orlando-area planner Brian Fricke. "Sometimes that matters more than the math."

Four Traditional Money Rules to Break

Who would have thought??? Read article below and see what you think....

***************************

Original article found here

AnnaMaria Andriotis
Saturday, February 19, 2011

Never borrow against a 401(k). Avoid credit cards. Make a bigger down payment on your home or apartment to avoid paying extra mortgage interest. These are among the tried-and-true financial rules consumers have been told to live by for years. But now -- with interest rates still low and credit staging a comeback -- might be a good time to break them.

This solid financial advice isn't suddenly all wrong, but many of these axioms no longer result in higher savings or less debt. That's because the economic recovery has opened up more exceptions and loopholes to standard advice, says David Peterson, president of Peak Capital Investment Services, a financial planning firm. Advisers, for example, typically discouraged clients from taking a loan from their 401(k) -- but this is now the cheapest way to borrow money, with the average rate at 4.25%, lower than most personal loans, to pay back debt they racked up during the recession. But as some parts of the economy have improved -- equities are once again outperforming fixed income, banks are slowly returning to lending, and consumers are spending more -- the rules for making and saving money are changing, at least temporarily.

Here are four traditional money rules you can break -- at least for now.

401(k) Loans

Old school advice: Avoid taking one at all costs.
Now: The most affordable loan available.

For decades, borrowing from a 401(k) plan was synonymous to derailing retirement savings. But right now, the cheapest bank for many borrowers -- especially those who feel secure in their job -- is their own 401(k). Average interest rates on credit cards are 14% and on home equity lines of credit 5.22%. But a 401(k) loan charges a fixed average of prime (currently 3.25%) plus 1%, according to the Profit Sharing/401(k) Council of America. Approximately 90% of employers offering 401(k)s permit employees to borrow from them, according to the PSCA, and the loans can last for up to 15 years. These loans make most sense for consumers stuck with high-interest credit card debt. In a year, a borrower can save around $800 in interest with a loan that eliminates a $5,000 balance on a card with a 20% interest rate.

And the money the borrower pays back goes into their 401(k) -- not to a bank. Repaying can also be easier than it is with a regular loan, says Olivia Mitchell, professor at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School, who recently coauthored a study on 401(k) loans. About 60 million people contribute to a 401(k), according to the PSCA; once a loan is taken out, any contributions made via automatic payroll deductions first go toward paying down the loan. But, there are still some pitfalls: If you lose your job or leave it voluntarily and can't pay the loan back within 90 days you'll be hit with federal income tax on the outstanding amount, plus a 10% penalty if less than age 59 1/2. And you'll need to reallocate some of what remains into higher-yielding equities until the account is made whole, to avoid missing out on potential gains, says David Wray, president of the PSCA.

Roth IRAs

Old school advice: Convert a traditional IRA into a Roth to save on taxes.
Now: Stick with the IRA.

The Roth IRA's appeal has always been that contributions, rather than withdrawals, are taxed, shifting the tax burden to pre-retirement instead of years down the road when taxes could be higher. Roth IRAs became even more user-friendly last year when taxpayers were allowed to convert from a traditional IRA regardless of income (the limit for conversions had been $100,000 modified adjusted-growth income). But in many cases, staying put in a traditional IRA will lead to bigger savings -- especially for people five to 10 years away from when they plan to withdraw their money, says Peterson. Here's why: It can take years of tax-free growth to make up the taxes incurred during the conversion. For example, someone who converts $100,000 from a traditional to a Roth IRA and pays $30,000 in taxes will need at least five years to make that money back -- assuming a 7% rate of return. And that doesn't address the loss of compounding that would have occurred if that money didn't go toward paying taxes, says Sheryl Garrett, a fee-only certified financial planner.

There's also less time to pay taxes on this conversion now. Savers who converted from a traditional IRA to a Roth IRA last year were able to spread the income from that conversion over 2011 and 2012. But now, all of the income from a conversion made in 2011 (and after) is taxable at once. Also, this conversion comes with the risk of getting bumped to a higher tax bracket during that year because the money counts as income -- so converting might not make sense for someone whose budget is currently stretched thin. Instead, savers might now want to convert a smaller amount gradually once a year that won't put them into different bracket, says Garrett.

Mortgages

Old school advice: Choose the mortgage with the smallest interest payments.
Now: Go with more interest.

Paying the least interest on a mortgage requires two steps: a down payment of at least 20% and paying down the loan quickly. But both strategies can create a setback for a borrower -- especially in still-uncertain housing and employment markets, says Chip Cummings, president of Northwind Financial, a training and consulting company for mortgage firms. With interest rates still low, instead of throwing most of their money into the home -- where some of it could be lost if home values decline -- consumers might want to make a down payment of 10%. Keep the extra cash in an emergency fund in case of sudden job loss or unexpected renovations and take on the added cost of private mortgage insurance.

PMI varies, but on average is 60 basis points. On a $300,000 30-year mortgage, a borrower keeps an extra $30,000 in cash and pays $1,800 a year just in PMI until he or she hits the 22% equity threshold. What's more, a 30-year mortgage, rather than a 15-year one, is one good way to build a savings safety net, says Keith Gumbinger, vice president at HSH Associates, which tracks the mortgage market. On average, monthly payments are 20% to 30% smaller with a 30-year mortgage, he says. That extra money could be stashed in savings for a rainy day or to pay the mortgage if you lose your job.

Credit Cards

Old school advice: Refrain from using them.
Now: Swipe -- with caution.

Stashing credit cards in a bank safe deposit box or freezing them in a block of ice were commonplace for many consumers during the recession in an attempt to lower spending and take time to pay down cards. But now, it seems that in order to hold onto a good credit score and access to credit cards in case of an emergency, borrowers need to make more purchases using them. Prime borrowers who stop using their credit cards will find their credit lines slashed or closed -- largely because their accounts are unprofitable since there's no balance to charge interest on, says John Ulzheimer, president of consumer education for SmartCredit.com, a credit-monitoring web site.

The median FICO score of borrowers with no trigger event, like a missed payment, who've been affected, is 770, according to a 2010 study by Fair Isaac. The result is a higher amount of credit card debt compared to total credit limits available, a ratio that can contribute to about 30% of their credit score. Use your credit cards at least once every three months -- and pay the balance off in full each time -- to avoid this, says Ulzheimer.

MAKE ONE EXTRA MORTGAGE PAYMENT THIS YEAR

Part of original article found here

Okay, this one sounds a bit unrealistic, especially to those hard working Americans who are having serious trouble just making their regular payments, much less tacking on one more. But hear me out. The average mortgage payment can run about $1800/month. If you want to save that amount over the course of the year, that’s $5/day, or $35/week. Take ten minutes on the phone with your bank, and create an account in which they automatically deposit $35 of your pay into it every week. By the end of the year, you’ve got the $1800 you need to pound down one extra mortgage payment. Sure, you could withdraw it and blow it on overpriced holiday gifts or a fun weekend in Atlantic City, but then I’d have to hunt you down and completely flip out. Don’t create that kind of work for me, I beg of you. The way interest and principal are calculated on a home loan, paying down one extra mortgage payment every year will save you TENS of thousands over the course of the loan (easily double that extra amount you put in) and shorten that loan time from 30 years down to easily 24 instead. By any account, that’s an investment that will pay off huge.

Quotes of the Day

We can all learn something from the innocence of children!


'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.



If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.



Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.



The best vitamin for making friends...... B1.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.



the heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.





You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.

If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.



Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.



Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.



The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.


The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!

It is never too late to become what you might have been.



Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love
the people who treat you right.. Forget about the
ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If
it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life
would be easy, they just promised it would be
worth it.


Friends are like balloons;
once you let them go, you might not get them
back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own
lives and problems that we may not even notice
that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so
caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we
forget what's right and wrong.. Sometimes we just
don't realize what real friendship means until it
is too late. I don't want to let that happen so
I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose
you.

HANDBOOK 2011

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2010.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with/people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Eight Steps to Financial Health

Laura Rowley Money & Happiness

Posted on Sunday, October 31, 2010, 12:00AM

Like many Americans, Leah West, 40, is struggling to shed debt and manage an array of financial obligations. After her divorce seven years ago, Leah, a mother of three, enrolled in college and earned her bachelor's and master's degrees. She moved up the ladder in health care administration, and earns about $80,000. But she's now saddled with more than $82,000 in debt, mostly student loans; and her home is worth less than what she paid it. Leah also wants to set aside money for college tuition for her kids, and build a retirement fund.

Since September, I've been coaching Leah in her quest to improve her finances, a journey she blogs about at WomansDay.com. Her story offers practical lessons in how to attack multiple financial goals and maintain momentum. Here are just a few:

1) Focus on the positive

Before you confront a mountain of bills, remind yourself what's working for you. Leah had earned a master's degree — an accomplishment just 6 percent of Americans can claim. She enjoys her job, has a solid income and excellent insurance coverage. She is in good health, has three wonderful kids, and can cover all her bills without falling further into the red. Relationships, education, career experience, health and spirituality are all components of well-being; savoring the positive can provide the momentum to tackle the bad stuff.

2) Set one to three manageable goals

Don't overwhelm yourself with a list of ten things to fix immediately. Leah's priorities were eliminating her credit card debt; creating a plan to pay off her student loans (which were in forbearance); and building up an emergency fund of $10,000. Once we had a strategy up and running, we could move on to other goals, such as college savings and retirement.

3) Get a handle on the real numbers

Although Leah was making double the minimum payment on her credit cards, she felt she wasn't making progress. I used an online debt calculator to show her the truth: By paying twice the minimum, she would banish the debt in 15 months and pay $302 in interest. If she made only the minimum payments, it would take more than six years, and she'd pay $1,328 in interest. Use tools like this one to help you get a grip on the math.

Leah also got the hard numbers on her student loan debt to make sure the loans weren't snowballing at absurdly high interest rates, and disrupting the rest of her financial plan. Fortunately, the rates were quite low, so we left that alone for the moment to focus on the debt paydown. (That would free up the cash necessary to eventually tackle the student debt.)

Finally, we discussed Leah's retirement plan. She had enrolled in a 403(b) plan when she started her job at a health center and contributed steadily for four years. But about 18 months ago, her employer eliminated matching funds because of budget cuts, so Leah stopped contributing. The health center is expected to reinstate the match next year, and Leah plans to jump back in then. It's a smart move from a numbers perspective: It's better to pay down credit card debt at 20 percent interest than to contribute to a plan with no match, because she's unlikely to earn a 20 percent return on her retirement savings.

4) Rank your rates, then cut them down

Leah listed her credit cards on a single page from highest to lowest interest rate, along with the amount due and the company contact information. She called each lender and asked for a rate reduction, using this script: "I have been a cardholder since ____. In the past few months, several credit card companies have offered me lower rates than my current rate with you. I value our relationship, but would like you to match the other offers that I have received and reduce my interest rate by 10 percent. Are you authorized to adjust my interest rate?" (If they say no, ask politely to speak to someone who can and repeat the request.)

Although it took several hours of phone hassles, Leah cut her interest rate by 13.5 percentage points across three cards. Savings: About $275.

5) Snowball it down

When we started, Leah had four months left on her car payment. Once that debt is paid off, she'll direct the money to the highest-interest credit card. Similarly, when that's paid off, the money will be targeted (with her car payment) to the next credit card until they're all completely paid off. Then that giant snowball of cash will be used to pay off her student loans. The key is to keep the money out of her daily budget, so she doesn't use it to boost her lifestyle.

6) Track spending to the penny

Leah began looking for ways to reduce her monthly expenses, and thinking about her choices in a value-oriented way. For instance, she could move from her home on Cape Cod to a cheaper suburb of Boston, but she values living on the beach. On the other hand, Leah realized she was dropping about $400 a month at a corner convenience store, on non-essentials like deli sandwiches and homemade ice cream. She's eliminated those indulgences, dropped a gym membership she barely used and found ways to save on her cable and auto insurance. The idea is to cut where she can so she can spend on what she values most. The only way to do that is to know where every penny goes.

7) Look at ways to increase your cash flow

Leah usually gets a tax refund in April of more than $1,000. She spoke with an accountant about changing her withholding at work to get more cash in each paycheck (and no refund in April, because that's giving Uncle Sam an interest-free loan for a year). The accountant ultimately advised against it for now, but she'll revisit the idea next year. More importantly, she increased her income by working freelance on her blog. Those extra paychecks are earmarked to pay off her debt and build an emergency fund of $10,000.

8) Keep a gratitude journal to stay motivated

Leah started a journal right after her divorce, when she was overwhelmed and frightened about the future. She returned to it recently when she hit a financial setback — her partner of more than two years moved out, and took all of the living room furniture with him. (She bought a few basic pieces so the kids wouldn't have to sit on the floor.) The journal reminded Leah of how far she's come, and helped her find the energy and patience to keep moving forward.

Original article found here

Quote for Sunday

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. -Garth Brooks

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I admit, one of my guilty pleasures is watching "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills". Of course, the show cannot be without the "catfights" amongst the girls. Two of the people on the show that I like are Camille Grammer and Adrienne Maloof. Camille first. Perhaps people may know her as the former Mrs Kelsey Grammer or as a dancer for MTV. Yes, she may enjoy the glamorous lifestyle (who wouldn't) and loves nice things, but watching the show and the catfights between her and Kyle, makes her look like a better person! She can rise above the nasty things Kyle says to her and is able to maintain her composure! She has a very sweet disposition. And from my superficial knowledge or her (based on the TV show only people), I'd say Kelsey is wrong for exchanging her another "young babe".



Now for my favorite, Adrienne Maloof! What can I say. When I started watching the show, I was like, "oh another "Berverly Hills Housewife" riding on her husbands fame/fortune"! Was I wrong, as I watched more episodes and finally got to know "who" she was, I suddenly got new respect for the woman! She is her own person and makes her own fortune! She has a life of her own, not needing to be married to someone rich to define who she is (just like her opening statement in the credits "Money is what I have, it does not define who I am", or something to that effect!). Also watching her while the other girls go at each other, I am amazed at how grace and composure she has shown staying away from all of these, and yet still being very much part of the show! That's what I call character! Below is a brief write-up from the Bravo website about Adrienne!

A savvy "no-nonsense" businesswoman, Adrienne Maloof is an Albuquerque, New Mexico native who moved to the palm tree-lined streets of Beverly Hills 15 years ago. Adrienne, her mother and four brothers comprise the Maloof Family dynasty whose multi-faceted sports and entertainment enterprise includes the Sacramento Kings, Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, Sweeping Palms Entertainment (film, television & music) and Maloof Money Cup, the World’s largest skateboard competition. Adrienne was instrumental in making the Palms Casino Resort an international hot spot for celebrities, entertainers and athletes. She also worked with her family to take over a struggling Kings franchise and almost immediately propelled the team to one of the most recognizable in the NBA. Adrienne is also involved in several charitable organizations within her community; she has a strong passion for the School On Wheels program and the Good News Foundation and in 2002, she established the Camp Kindness program with the Sacramento SPCA to provide resources and education for youth in-need to own and raise pets when they otherwise would have been unable to do so. While business certainly plays an extremely important role in Adrienne’s life, her true daily passion is family. Married to prominent Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Paul Nassif, she is a mom through and through, raising her three young sons, Gavin (7) and twins Christian and Colin (4). Business meetings, conference calls and corporate strategizing all take a back seat when it comes to taking care of her boys. Although she’s petite and demure, Adrienne’s not one to mess with due to her strong dedication to the martial arts and self-defense. She was also one of the nation’s top-ranked youth tennis players and went on to earn a scholarship to play collegiate tennis at the University of New Mexico where she earned a bachelor’s degree in political science.

Here's more:

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is just two days away and since you've already met Camille Grammer Sunday, it's time to meet the beautiful and sensual Adrienne Maloof-Nassir, another one of the glamorous ladies from the most desirable zip codes in the world.

Adrienne is pure business woman and isn't for the crap when it comes to her money. She's from the Maloof Family Dynasty, whose credentials include the owning the Sacramento Kings, Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas, Sweeping Palms Entertainment, and the Maloof Money Cup, which is considered the largest skateboarding competition in the world. In short, she has clout and plenty of it.

As I said with Camille Grammer, Adrienne doesn't have the word foreclosure or sex tape anywhere near her name. This woman didn't marry for money, or is waiting for a divorce settlement to come in. She has her own and then some and I think her net worth would trump all of the other Housewives past and present combined. Oh and don't let Adrienne's statuesque frame fool you. She will drop you quicker than a NeNe Leakes put down and you wouldn't know it until after you wake u in the hospital. She practices martial arts and other self-defense techniques and doesn't dabble in it like Danielle Staub does. Adrienne means business mentally, physically, and financial, which makes her my kind of gal.

Adrienne has three sons, Gavin, who is seven, and a set of twins named Christian and Colin, who are both four. Adrienne's husband is Dr. Paul Nassif, who is no stranger to reality TV after appearing on Dr. 90210 a couple of times. He's one of the top plastic surgeons of the city and has his own nose worked on during the season. Ouch!

So enough introduction from me about Adrienne, let her tell you herself what she's all about:

click on this link and then click on the videos there/

See? I told you she could kick your ass.

Now that we have met Adrienne, let's see where she resides. Prepare to be wowed. Honestly.

Again, click on this link and then click on the videos there/

Balloons

5 tips for reviving your relationship

By Lisa Cericola

It happens to the best of couples: One night you’re happily cozying up on the couch with a pizza and Netflix…then, six Saturday nights later, you’re sick of pepperoni and your sweetie’s sick of your sci-fi obsession. No matter how much you care about someone, falling into predictable patterns is inevitable when you’re constantly spending time together. And while a little familiarity is nice, too much can make once-happy couples feel bored with each other — and possibly itching to get out of the relationship entirely. Most of the time, however, all these couples need is a small change in routine to keep things interesting. “There’s an old saying along the lines of, ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got,’” says Lisa Daily, author of Stop Getting Dumped! “If you can’t stand the thought of another 36-hour ESPN marathon or another weekend of antiquing, come up with a plan B.” For inspiration, take a tip or two from these couples below who got over the hump and are still happily together.

1. Introduce your mate to your interests
One couple’s case history: “When Aaron and I moved in together after a year of dating, we quickly fell into a routine — I’d come home from work and cook my heart out while he lounged on the couch, mesmerized by baseball. Though I’m a foodie and he’s a sports nut, I felt separated by more than just the kitchen/living room wall. Why couldn’t he learn to appreciate an apple tarte tatin? Shouldn’t I see what was so exciting about watching a Martinez-Smoltz match-up?” says Abby Phillips of Chicago. “So we came up with a plan: Every so often, he’d buy a ticket for me to accompany him to a ball game. In return, I’d take him out to the restaurant of my choice. Now he’s eating pappardelle bolognese, and, though I can’t tell the difference between a breaking ball and a slider, I can name most of the players in the Mets lineup.”

Love lesson learned: Mutual interests, whether it’s a love of dogs or shooting pool, are often what bring a couple together in the first place. But taking interest in your partner’s entire life — including facets you don’t initially take a shine to — is what will keep you together in the long run, says dating coach Liz Kelly, author of SMART Man Hunting. The reason: Whether your partner’s passion is baseball, gourmet food, or some other activity, it’s an opportunity to learn tons about a new topic and, for that matter, what makes your sweetie tick. There’s no way you’ll feel bored with this double-dose of new info and experiences!

2. Daydream about the future together
One couple’s case history: “My partner Dan and I have a lot of shared interests, but there are always times when we find ourselves sitting on the sofa, staring at each other out of sheer boredom,” explains Matt Levinson of New York City. “Lately, when we hit a slump, we grab the newspaper or go online to look for open houses because we both dream of owning a big house upstate, out in the country. And even though we’re not prepared to buy yet, sometimes when we find a listing we like, we’ll take a little road trip for the day to check it out and explore the surrounding towns. House-hunting gives us something new to talk about — how we’d fix up the house, how else we can save up money to buy a place in the future. It might take awhile for our plans to pan out, but it’s fun to dream big together in the meantime.”

Love lesson learned: A relationship that’s static can definitely feel stagnant, but that’s easily fixed by setting some goals together. Just ask yourself (and your partner), “In your wildest dreams, what would the two of us be doing three months/six months/a year down the line?” Then do something small — say, window-shopping for a home, or playing with puppies in a pet store even though you’re not prepared to take one home yet — that keeps you in touch with that dream. Even new couples can adopt a sense of direction. Maybe you both fantasize about flying to Cancun for a long weekend on the beach. Try browsing guidebooks together or set up a “Cancun fund” where you each contribute $20 per paycheck. “Even if your big plan is very far away, taking baby steps together can bring you closer to your goal,” says Daily. “And to each other.”

3. Break some rules
One couple’s case history: “When my long-distance girlfriend and I moved in together, we thought we’d have tons of fun, but it didn’t take long before we got caught up in our work schedules,” says Brenden Smith of Orlando, FL. “One Wednesday night we were both lying around, exhausted, when my girlfriend jumped up, grabbed her bag and announced, ‘Come on, we’re going out!’ We went to a club down the street, and had such a great time that we stayed out until two in the morning! Sure, we were even more exhausted the next day, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how great it felt to ‘break the rules’ and stay out late on a weeknight. Now, whenever we’re feeling trapped by our schedules, we do something spontaneous that we know we shouldn’t really do — say, going out for ice cream sundaes instead of making dinner. It never fails to keep things fun and interesting.”

Love lesson learned: There’s something about rebelling a little that can instantly alleviate tedium — plus it can be a bonding experience for couples, instilling an us-versus-them attitude. So if you think your relationship has been weighed down by what you’re supposed to do lately, ask yourself, “What do I really want to do?” and follow your impulses with your beloved in tow. Go ahead and stick your feet out the window on a road trip, duck out of the office party for a makeout session in the coat room, or stay up until sunrise even when you know you two have a family event the very next day. As long as your actions aren’t illegal or harming anyone, these moments will remind you that your love life can take some interesting twists and turns once you stop caring so much about doing things the “right” way.

4. Plan the unpredictable
One couple’s case history: “Because of our busy schedules, my boyfriend and I usually only see each other on weekends. And while absence (until Friday) makes the heart grow fonder, we often found ourselves going to the same restaurants, watching our favorite TV shows or just having dinner at home,” recalls Renee Edwards of Emmaus, PA. “To spice things up, I suggested that we try planning ‘surprise dates’ for each other. Not only was my boyfriend a good sport about my idea, he totally charmed me by taking me apple-picking last fall. It was exactly the kind of outdoorsy thing I love to do, but would have never thought we’d do together. In return, I surprised him with reservations at a BBQ restaurant I knew he wanted to try. Keeping each other on our toes date-wise reminds us that it’s always important to keep trying, even when you’re in love and comfortable with each other.”

Love lesson learned: Surprises are the cornerstone of keeping a relationship interesting because they show your sweetie that you don’t take anything for granted — and that there’s more to you than meets the eye! So keep an eye out for any opportunity: If your sweetie mentions a play he or she wants to see, buy tickets on the sly and slip them in a pocket or purse with a note saying “You, me, and Shakespeare on Saturday?” Or, just tell your sweetie to keep a certain date clear for you — then don’t explain what you’re doing. The anticipation will keep your honey wondering all week what it could be and add extra zing to your plans, whether it’s reservations at a new restaurant, a night camping in your back yard, or going back to the place where you shared your first kiss. What you’ve planned doesn’t really matter — when it comes to surprises, it’s truly the thought that counts.

5. Escape the ordinary
One couple’s case history: “After starting a new office job, I didn’t have as much time to spend with my husband. Every day seemed to run into the next at warp speed. We were definitely falling into a rut, so he suggested taking a weekend off to go camping. I wasn’t sure what to expect; we hadn’t spent that much time together in months,” says Lisa Price of Traverse City, MI. “As we made the campfire the first night I thought, what are we going to talk about for the next five hours? But it didn’t take long before we found ourselves talking about lots of amazing things (even some big-picture issues). Over that weekend, time finally slowed down and if felt like we were the only people left in the universe. There were no distractions and the conversation flowed like it was a first date that was going really well. We returned home energized and ready to deal with our hectic schedules again — and reminded of the fact that we never have to stop getting to know each other.”

Love lesson learned: “Sometimes it feels like the world will stop spinning if we stop what we’re doing for one minute,” says Daily. “The truth is, it won’t. Life will go on, even if you take a few hours off.” Even if you don’t have an entire weekend for uninterrupted “us” time, take little time-outs to recharge your romance on a regular basis. Daily suggests setting an unbreakable lunch or dinner date every week — mark your calendar, if necessary. Or substitute separate workouts at the gym to take a long walk or hike together — you may be surprised where your conversation leads or what new tidbit you find out about your partner!

Lisa Cericola is a New York City-area writer. When it comes to spicing up a relationship with surprises, she thinks the kind of surprises known as presents work really well.

Original article found here

Having and Being

I love the CSI shows. One particular episode of CSI Las Vegas (aired 10/21/2010, Season 11: Episode 05: House of Hoarders) had a really great dialogue between Dr Ray Langston and Nick Stokes (played by Lawrence Fishbourne and George Eads respectively) about how people view material things. Here is the dialogue (sorry if it is not exactly verbatim)".

People are obesseed w/ possessions, he believed that human beings had 2 basic orientations, "having" and "being". People with the "having orientation" seek to acquire and possess things, property and even people. People with the "being orientation" focus on the experience. They derive meaning from the exchanging, engaging and sharing with other people.

Unfortunately we have a culture today of "commercialism" which is doomed and driven by the "having orientation" which leads to dissatisfaction and emptiness. We need to remember in 1960 there was no such thing as public storage in America, today there is more than 2 billion square feet dedicated to it.

Things don't always have to mean everything, nor do they have to be devoid of meaning, they are just one of the ways of which we can experience and enjoy life as long as they don't get in the way of living.

HAVING: Buying more that what you really need because the "act" of buying makes you happy. This is normally a temporary happiness and lasts short term.

BEING: Enjoying the experience of going out shopping with a friend, giving your friend a nice gift. This feeling lasts longer because you derive pleasure in the experience rather than the object itself.

Maybelline Studio

I was surfing online on eye make up "how-tos" and found that my perfect shade by Maybelline is "Sunset Romance:A romantic at heart. Your style is as serene as the sunset".

Color Plush Sunset Seduction Illuminate – sweep lightest shade all over eye, from lash line to brow bone. Emphasize – blend second shade from inner corner to middle of lid. Intensify – apply third shade from outer corner to middle of lid; line upper and lower lash line for extra pop Deepen – add darkest shade in crease for high impact. Lasting Drama Brown Define– in small strokes, glide liner across lash line from inner to outer corner Enhance – extend and thicken line from outer corner up towards brow; wing out for extra drama HOW TO FIND MY SHADE Visit My Color Advisor to find the most flattering shades of blush and bronzer for your skin tone, and check out the shade selection suggestions below. For blush: What color are your cheeks after you pinch them, exercise or come in from the cold? That’s the best shade to look for in a blush since it’s closest to the natural flush of your cheeks. Your perfect shade will always blend in with your natural cheek color. For bronzer: Remember how your skin looked after your last sunny getaway? That’s the color you want. For the look of your most natural tan, never go more than two shades darker than your natural skin tone. In the summertime you can go slightly darker with your bronzer, but lighten up your shade in the winter so your “tan” looks more natural. How to Use Expert Wear Blush Bronzer See how to use Expert Wear Blush Bronzer for a sunkissed glow all year round. PREPARE TO GLOW Use the brush that comes with the compact or for more control use the. Dip brush into the bronzer then blow off any excess color. APPLY COLOR Begin with a light application since you can always build up color gradually. Brush on bronzer anywhere the sun naturally hits your face. ACCENT YOUR FEATURES Use bronzer to define your bone structure. Apply with gentle outward strokes across the center of your forehead, bridge and tip of your nose, cheekbones and chin. Highlight your neck and collarbone with a light sweep.

Normally I love shopping or at least "window" shopping for furniture and things to make the home more beautiful. However, lately, I've been more interested in clothes. I am frugal by nature, but I can't believe that I bought 2 shirts, pants and a wool jacket yesterday! But I've been working really hard and I felt it was a way to reward myself for all my hard work. Here are the styles that I'm loving now!

Anthropologie October 2010 Catalogue Cover

What is truly important

"...money is not the prime commodity in our lives... Time is."

"Gordon Gekko" (Michael Douglas) on Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

True Measure of a Man

This picture was taken at the Yerba Buena gardens in San Francisco

Saying by Martin Luther King Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 - 1968)

Dealing with Hurtful Relatives

This weekend was supposed to be all fun because a close aunt came to visit me from out of town. But because of a very hurtful relative, some of the fun got tainted. The worst thing about it is, that relative acts like its nothing and continues with her rude behavior. She acts like I'm invisible and always has an excuse when an invitation is extended. I have tried so so so many times to turn a blind eye out of respect, and, in memory of her mom who was so kind to me and was one of my favorite aunts, however, I think respect has to be earned by the person herself. This weekend was the final straw. I could not stand her bad behavior and rudeness towards me anymore, so finally I told her what I thought of her. People really close to me tell me to just move on, but before I can move on, I have to heal from the months, years of hurt that this relative has inflicted on me. Those people who tell me "just move on" are not here everyday to see my hurt, to see the stress, the pain that this has caused, and only hear it when I tell them what happens. I fell they do not understand, just want this "awkward situation" to be over with. I no longer feel any guilt in standing up for myself and really telling her off. There is one person in this ordeal that I feel very fortunate to have. I am very lucky that hubby is very supportive and is the only one who doesn't try to dismiss how I feel by telling me to "move on". He is here for me when I tremble with stress, he is here when I cry and he knows I will move on in time, but now all I need is someone to talk me through all this hurt and deal with it. He is not rushing me into "unfeeling" what I am feeling and respectfully lets me go through this stage. Thank you my wonderful hubby!

Here is an article I found which somehow deals with this kind of situation. See below.

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Dealing with Hurtful Relatives by Karen R Koenig
For Complete Original Article, click here
One of the great stresses of the holiday season is dealing with relatives who are hurtful, difficult or, perhaps, even emotionally abusive. Maybe you rarely see them and try to be nice when you do or are stuck with them all year long. There is no easy answer for how to deal with these kinds of family members, but you do have options. None will feel just right, but often you have to choose the best of the lot and live with the consequences.

Newspaper advice columns often tell readers to ignore the bad things troublesome relatives do or say and look for the good in them. This is a viable option with a relative who is basically a decent person and only mildly annoying. You can usually tell if a remark is made with a benign or loving intent. Maybe your well-meaning, sweet aunt always asks when you’re going to lose weight or your generally loving and supportive father puts an extra helping of potatoes on your plate, insisting that you put some meat on your bones. Your options in these instances are to ignore what is said or done or respond in a kind way that expresses how you feel.

The last group of family members are people who are nasty, manipulative, cutting, and have only their own interest at heart. Selfish, self-centered, abusive, and intentionally provocative, no amount of reasoning or confrontation will change them and, unless you have to be around them (even if they are your parents, siblings, or other close relatives), you are better off avoiding them. I don’t agree that emotionally detaching from abusive people is enough. You might not react to what they say, but their abusiveness still registers, lingers in your heart, and is unhealthy to be around. In this case, you may need to cut them out of your life which is painful work and not generally accepted by society.

Aim High

The Bank

I received this email from a friend of mine. Something good to ponder on:

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:

Each morning your bank would deposit $ 86,400.00 in your private account for your use.

However, this prize had rules, just as any game has certain rules.

The first set of rules would be:

1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away
from you.
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
3. You may only spend it.

Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $
86,400.00 for that day.

The second set of rules:

1. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,
"It's over, the game is over!"
2. It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?

Not only for yourself, but for all people you love, right?

Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it
all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY, THIS GAME IS REALITY!!
Each of us is in possession of such a "magical" bank.
We just can't seem to see it.

THE MAGICAL BANK IS TIME!

Each awakening morning we receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life,
and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to
us.

What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your
account at any time...

WITHOUT WARNING.

WELL, what will you do with your 86,400 seconds?

Aren't they worth so much more than the same amount in dollars?

Think about that, and always think of this:

Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker
than you think.

So take care of yourself, and enjoy life!

Here's wishing you a beautiful day!!!

Use The Debt Reduction Mindset To Save For Future Purchases

Original article found here

(picture not from original article)

Determined.

Back when I was getting out of debt, I was the very definition of determined. I worked hard, extremely hard, to stay on budget, earn extra money, and rapidly pay down my debts.

Once I paid off my debts, I remained determined, and worked hard to fully-fund my emergency fund. I also worked hard to fund retirement and education savings accounts. I was motivated, pumped about the progress I had made, and, like I said, determined.

After couple of years of enjoying the debt-free life, things changed. I lost a bit of my determination, and a bit of my focus. I think that this is natural. Once I reached my major goals, I took a breather, enjoyed some of the benefits of a little extra cash, and kinda relaxed.

Alas, it is now time to breakout ye olde debt reduction mindset and really focus on saving for future purchases. Why? Well, at some point, I’m going to need to buy not one, but two, newer automobiles. We’re also going to need need some newer furniture for the house, and we have lots of plans for the landscaping of the yard. In other words, there are some pretty big-time purchases that we need to make, in the not-so-distant future, and I need to prepare for them now.

The last thing I want to do is work as hard as I have worked to get out of debt – only to slip up and go right back into it. I don’t want to simply be debt free – I want to remain debt free, forever.

Side note – Those who are familiar with this site might be asking – “NCN, haven’t you been working hard to remain debt free, already?” The answer, frankly, is “yes and no”. On the one hand, I have been saving some money for future purchases, and I’ve continued to live on a budget. On the other hand, I’ve gotten a little sloppy, not really displaying, in my opinion, the proper degree of intensity. That, my friends, changes – today. Rock on.

How to Become a Money Magnet

original article found here

(picture not included in original article)

Becoming a money magnet is probably the hardest thing for a lot of people to accomplish. Sometimes deliberate creators have the ability to attract wonderful relationships, new houses, better friends, new jobs and improve their overall health but they struggle and strive with creating more money!

Let me tell you right now that it is no harder for the universe to yield to you a car parking space than it is to yield a million dollars. If you have deliberately attracted anything before than I assure you that with the right practises you can not only become a money magnet but you can attract huge lump sums of cash.

Commonly once we’ve heard about the Law of Attraction we set our intentions on working towards something we want. When you want something - you are putting out the vibration of not having it. Because wanting is in itself is lack of having something. So if you want more money you must see yourself as already in possession of already having the money.

Simple. Right?

As simple as this process sounds, that really is all of what you have to do! You must get yourself into a place of feeling as if you’re already in possession of the desired amount of money. As soon as you’ve lined up, the universe will yield to you exactly what you’re putting out.

Do you want to know what you’re currently putting out to the universe right now?

Open up your wallet. Check your bank balance. Look at the car you’re driving.

If it’s not what you want to see, then you have more work to do. The universe will yield to you endless opportunities to bring you the money, the “how” is not your work, what is your work is to get into alignment with your desire.

Have you ever heard of stories when multi-millionaires go bankrupt and lose their entire estate? Have you ever noticed how in most cases these individuals will bounce back and end up earning the same money if not more? Why is this? For long periods of time they have practiced having that money, they’ve got the wealth vibrations and are constantly putting them out. Even after they’ve lost their money, because they’ve practiced a certain way of thinking for so long, the money and opportunities find them once again.

If you practice the feelings of having the money you desire for long enough then the universe will continue to open doors leading to the money you desire. Your work is to feel as if you’ve already come in possession of the wealth!

Here are a couple of suggestions to help you stay in the right money consciousness.

Value the money you have
Every time you receive a paycheck, give thanks for the money that you have just received. Instead of brushing it off and thinking it as a measly amount of money, just be grateful that it is there at all.

The penny test
When you see a penny or nickel on the floor, stop to pick it up! Be thankful for even the smallest amounts of money that come into your experience. Also you can see this as a sign that money is starting to find its way into your experience. Remember, if you just ignore the penny then what vibration are you putting out to the universe? One of… “I don’t want the money”.

As your subconscious begins to get the idea that money is important to, valuable to, and much appreciated by you, more will begin to show up. Stay aware of money coming in, and keep your mind in a receiving mode. Be sure to stop and appreciate each bit of money that comes your way.

A very abundant future awaits you!

Sunday Inspirations

When you focus upon lack in an attitude of complaining, you establish a vibrational point of attraction that then gives you access only to more thoughts of complaint. Your deliberate effort to tell a new story will establish a new pattern of thought, providing you with a new point of attraction from your present, about your past, and into your future. The simple effort of looking for positive aspects will set a new vibrational tone that will begin the immediate attraction of thoughts, people, circumstances, and things that are pleasing to you.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the book "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness" #538

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Make lists of positive aspects. Make lists of things you love—and never complain about anything. And as you use those things that shine bright and make you feel good as your excuse to give your attention and be who-you-are, you will tune to who-you-are, and the whole world will begin to transform before your eyes. It is not your job to transform the world for others—but it is your job to transform it for you. A state of appreciation is pure Connection to Source where there is no perception of lack.

--- Abraham

Excerpted from the book "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Health, Wealth and Happiness" #539

Rags to Riches

Here is an inspirational article on how some misfortunes can actually turn out to be blessings...

*******************

John Paul DeJoria
Co-Founder and CEO
John Paul Mitchell Systems
California
Class Year: 2004

"Whatever you do, if you do it better than anyone else, it's amazing how things will start falling your way."

View Video Biography

Born in 1944 in Los Angeles, John Paul DeJoria's parents were both immigrants-his father from Italy and his mother from Greece. They divorced before he was two and DeJoria's mother supported herself and her two sons making hats. They lived in a very small house that had only one bedroom, but DeJoria says it was a good life.

At the age of nine, DeJoria began working to help support his family. His first job was selling greeting cards door to door. Later, he and his brother got paper routes for the Los Angeles Examiner. Throughout his childhood, DeJoria gave all the money he earned to his mother.

Still, life on the streets of East LA was rough. DeJoria joined a gang in his youth and while he never got into any real trouble, his involvement did little to improve his reputation. In high school he was voted Least Likely to Succeed. He even had a business teacher tell him that he would never succeed to any business in life. But DeJoria's positive attitude kept him from taking such criticism to heart. He continued to help his family financially, working as a gas station attendant, a janitor, and as a delivery boy. He also had a job in a machine shop and wrapped hangers for a dry cleaner. He graduated high school in 1962 and joined the Navy.

Upon his honorable discharge, DeJoria still did not have enough funds to attend college. A natural-born salesman, he took a job selling encyclopedias door to door. Five years later, he became the circulation manager for Time, Inc. From there, he went to work for Redken as a sales representative. Within six months he was made a district manager and a year later he became national manager of two divisions. After nearly five years on the job, his management philosophy began to differ from his employer's. Even though his divisions were successful, his methods did not tow the company line and he was fired.

DeJoria became a management trainer for a pharmaceutical company that was entering the beauty industry. Even through their sales went up dramatically, they fired him because he chose not to socialize with upper management. Next, he was hired by a hair care product company to build their sales. He tripled their sales in his first year, but they fired him because he was costing too much in commissions. Finally, after a year working as a consultant in the professional beauty industry, he and his friend Paul Mitchell, who was a hairdresser, decided to combine their skills and launch their own hair care product company. In 1980, they began with $700, some of which DeJoria borrowed from his mother.

After starting his business, DeJoria lived in his car for several weeks and spent only $2.50 a day on food. He had no money for advertising and had to rely on himself to promote products he believed were the best available. The selling skills he honed as an encyclopedia salesman aided him in getting his product accepted in one salon after another. Today, John Paul Mitchell Systems products are in more than 90,000 salons and are distributed in 82 countries. In 1989, DeJoria co-founded Patron Tequila, the number one ultra premium tequila in the world. John Paul has been involved with natural gas and solar energy since 1989.

DeJoria believes that to be successful, you must never give up. "I look upon the misfortunes in my life as blessings because they got me to the next step," he says. "I was fired from many jobs, but I never lost faith in myself and my abilities. When I co-founded John Paul Mitchell Systems, I never lost faith in the quality of our product. When others see how much you believe in yourself and what you are doing, they are motivated to put their trust in you."

According to DeJoria, success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. "Your ideal," he says, "should be to always do your best and to be the best at what you do. If you are a janitor, you should be the best janitor there ever was. That is success." He also believes in the Golden Rule. "Treating others the way you want to be treated gives great satisfaction. My advice is to do your best and treat others with respect at all times, not just when someone is watching you. To me, character is what you do when no one is watching."

DeJoria believes that the American Dream is out there, "you just have to put forth the effort and the energy," he says. "Whatever you do, if you do it better than anyone else, it's amazing how things just start falling your way. We all have a responsibility to make the world a better place in which to live. The measure of my success is not in the profits of my company, but rather by the worldwide good I accomplish by investing my time, money, and influence in human and global pursuits."

original article found here