Sunday, April 17, 2011

Nice article about feeling secure

How to Feel More Secure

February 8, 2008
By admin

How secure you feel is largely determined by how secure or insecure you feel as a person. If you are a generally insecure person you are likely to be frightened by every little disturbance that happens around you or by not having money. The world is trying to tell us that what we feel inside is separate from “reality”, i.e. the things that happen around us on the physical plane. According to this thinking, the source of your anxiety or insecurity is outside; hence people who feel insecure are trying to fix the problem on the outside.Going with this argument, people do all kinds of things to improve their security. Many people want more money, because they believe this will lead to more security. However this is not necessarily true.This may be fine if the source of your insecurity is outside, for example if you have received threats or if the area where you live is dangerous. In that case more money will help you to improve your present security or move to a safer area.But what if your insecurity comes from within? How can you fix it outside? I know what I’m talking about. I suffered rejection while being raised by my Aunt, which projected itself as insecurity in my later life.My insecurities and fears were very real and were compounded by the fact that we had little money. My wife and I often had blazing rows because of the fact that she bought stuff, sometimes even things that we needed. As far as I was concerned we shouldn’t have bought anything until we had “enough” money. I thought at the time that having more money would solve the problem, because I didn’t realize the problem was inside me.The truth is that money doesn’t necessarily give security. If you feel insecure, clearly examine what you feel insecure about. Is there a clear physical threat to your security, for example, someone threatened you personally? If you cannot really pinpoint where your security comes from, it is likely that it is from within.So if you are having anxiety relating to money, reason with your mind in a logical manner.

  • Ask yourself who has died from not having money.
  • Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen to you if you don’t have money. Try to paint the most ridiculous possible outcomes.

When you do this you confuse your mind.

  • Remind yourself that there are people who are worse off than you, but they haven’t died.

Also do this. I’m sure there are many homeless people on the streets. In the morning talk to yourself and say:

  • This morning I’m going to prove that I’m overcoming this fear. Stop next to some homeless people and give them some money, or something which they don’t have.
  • Also ask them if not having money have killed them. When they say no, walk away and tell your subconscious, you see I told you that nobody has ever died of not having money.

You’ll find you will not believe these things you say to yourself, but don’t worry about that. The mind is a creature of habit and it will take a while before things start to change.

The key to establishing new behavioral patterns is to keep on repeating it for at least 21 days. When the thought of not having money comes, laugh about it. Tell others that you “have this silly fear” that you may not have money for the things that you need. You see these fears only have power over you as long as you don’t confront it. As soon as you confront, and share it with others it will start to go away.


original article here

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